Posts Tagged ‘Things Kids Say’
I’m sick because of you
Posted on: June 9, 2012
- In: Children | Family | Humor | Kids Sayings
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I walked into the house this evening and gave the Little One a hug. When I did that, I noticed that his cheeks and forehead felt a bit warm, so I asked my mom to check to get her opinion. She agreed and asked him if he was okay. He shook his head and said, “No,” in a pitiful tone, even though he was sitting at the dining room table eating a large bowl of fruit and had been bouncing around all day. Then he looked at my brother and said, “Dad, the reason my forehead is hot is because you wouldn’t let me eat some of grandpa’s cookies.”
Man, I wish I would have thought of that one when I was little!
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Free at last!
Posted on: June 7, 2012
- In: Children | Family | Humor | Kids Sayings
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Yesterday, the Little One finished his last day of Kindergarten in his first year of “real” school and he’s still getting used to the differences between this and his pre-school. I didn’t realize until this evening that the concept of a summer break hadn’t quite registered with him. At about 8:45 pm, he checked out the time on my watch and said nervously, “Auntie, is your watch wrong or is it past our bed time?”
I told him, “Sweetie, you know you don’t have school tomorrow, right?”
He got a confused look on his face and said hopefully, “You mean I can stay up late?”
“Yes,” I replied and smiled at him.
He smiled back, but I still don’t think it really clicked. He knew he didn’t have school for the rest of the week, but I don’t think he knew why. My mom explained further, “You’re on break right now, which means you don’t have any more school for the rest of the summer.”
As he turned toward her and his eyes got big and began to sparkle. A huge smile spread across his little face. Then he began dancing around the room doing cartwheels yelling, “I’m free! I’m free! Woo hoo! I’m free!”
I think it’s safe to say he got it this time.
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Homemade Jokes
Posted on: June 7, 2012
- In: Children | Family | Humor | Kids Sayings
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We’re all watching the movie Journey 2: The Mysterious Island when the Little One decided to offer me a science lesson.
“Auntie, do you know why volcanoes blow?”
“Tell me.”
“Because they’re evil.”
Um, okay.
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“Auntie, what do you get when you combine hot sauce and lava?”
“I don’t know. What?” I responded warily.
“Hot sauce,” he said. “The lava just makes it hotter.” Then he cracks up at himself. Of course, I was laughing, too. I didn’t know what to expect, but that one was kinda funny.
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“What do you get when you cross cheese and chips?”
“Cheese chips?” By now, I’m resigned to not getting any of these right.
“Nope. Nacho cheese.” Okay, that one was corny, but that didn’t stop him from cracking up at himself. lol
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My Nephew the Ninja
Posted on: June 6, 2012
- In: Children | Family | Humor | Kids Sayings
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The Middle One graduated from the 5th grade this morning. We’re all excited. His graduation ceremony was this morning, so he chose to dress in slacks with a button down shirt and a red tie. The shirt is too small and was too tight around the neck, so my mom told him that after the ceremony, he could take the tie off and loosen his top button, which he did. Later that day, his teacher told the kids in class that they could keep their dress clothes on all day if they liked. My nephew had already taken off his tie and had loosened the knot completely. Since he didn’t know how to tie it back around his neck, he decided to tie it around his head instead. So for the rest of the day, all of the kids at school called him ninja boy. Needless to say, he loved that. I didn’t see him with the tie around his head, but for some reason, I kept visualizing Ralph Macchio from the original Karate Kid movie. Wax on, wax off!
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Random Thoughts of a Six Year Old
Posted on: June 6, 2012
- In: Children | Family | Humor | Kids Sayings
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My brother was walking the Little One home from school yesterday when the little guy starts asking questions. Those of you with or around children knows how this goes. Anyway, the little guy has a thing about cars, so when a Ford Mustang drove past, this is how the conversation went:
“Dad, dad,” he said excitedly. “When I grow up, I want to drive that car!”
“Okay,” my brother said indifferently.
“Dad?” the Little One asked seriously.
“What,” my brother said warily, not knowing what he was going to ask next.
“When I get older, is grandma gonna have another baby?”
First there was silence. Then there was internal laughter. Then there were horrific mind images of our mother being pregnant. I think my brother said he threw up a little in his mouth.
I don’t think my brother knew how to respond to that. I’m pretty sure the little guy is still waiting on an answer. Kids.
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Game Night
Posted on: June 3, 2012
- In: Children | Family | Humor | Kids Sayings
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We had game night the other day. We played Outburst with the boys again. We always have fun at that game. We play with modified rules, so no one really wins, however we always have a good laugh. Here are some of the responses from that night:
Q: Name foods that are red.
The Middle One: “Peaches!”
Q: What are things you put in the basket.
The Little One: “Me!” (Hmm, I think we need to have a talk with the other two)
Q: Name ten cities in California.
The Big One: “Dallas!”
Q: Things you find on a fire truck.
The Big One: “That woopy thing”
My Brother: “Do you mean, the siren?”
The Big One: “Yeah, that thing!”
Q: State that end in an “A”:
The Middle One: “Colorado”
Someone later said, “Nevada.” That’s when the Middle One said, “That’s a city!”
Q: Name products that are applied to the hair.
The Big One: “A Hair Dryer”
Q: Things that get read.
The Big One: “Scars. You know they turn red when you pick them.”
Q: Name the muscles in your body.
The Middle One: “Contract and reflex”
The Big One: “The Core. You know, the middle part of the body that people are always talking about on tv.”
Q: Singers or groups who have performed for Motown.
The Little One: “Justin Beiber! Justin Beiber! Justin Beiber!” Then, when no one responded, “Is Justin Beiber on there?”
Q: Types of taxes.
Mom: “Income”
The Big One: “Outcome. You know, you pay taxes for money that comes in and you pay taxes for money that goes out.”
Ah, good times!
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No more shots . . . EVER.
Posted on: May 31, 2012
- In: Children | Family | Humor | Kids Sayings
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Yesterday, the Little One overheard a conversation I was having with my mother. I was in the process of telling her that I have an appointment with a podiatrist. As I was saying, “I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow” the Little One suddenly started yelling, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” My mom and I turned to look at him and saw him with large round eyes, a fearful expression and his hands reaching out towards me as if he were trying to yank me back from stepping into something horrible. He cried, “Nooo! I don’t want you to get shot!” Mom and I immediately started laughing. We both knew that he was having a flashback to the last time he went to the doctor’s office, which was last year. Poor kid. The doctor gave him four shots and when she stepped out of the room, the Little One spoke to my mom in a very serious, slow and sober tone, “Grandma, don’t ever, ever, ever, take me to this place again. Ever.”
This morning, my podiatrist told me that I have bone spurs, then he told me my treatment options. The first option involved daily stretching with a tennis ball and ice packs. The other option involved a shot of steroids. Needless to say, as soon as the doctor mentioned the word “shot,” all I could hear in the back of my mind was an echo of him crying, “Nooooo!” So, for the sake of my little nephew’s peace of mind . . . ahem . . . I opted for the tennis balls and ice packs.
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I’m Stupid Not
Posted on: May 28, 2012
- In: Children | Family | Humor | Kids Sayings
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I told my nephews today that the next time they say something stupid, I’m gonna put them in time-out. The Big One told the Middle One, “You’re gonna be in time-out forever.” I laughed and told The Big One, “I was thinking that about you, too.” The Big One responded, “Why? I don’t say stuff stupid.” I told him, “You just got two minutes!”
A short while later, The Big One went into the kitchen to make himself some lunch. My brother asked him if he’d washed his hands first. The Big One responded, “What for? I haven’t scratched or anything.” Yeah, he got two more minutes.
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The Former Booger Eater
Posted on: May 28, 2012
- In: Children | Family | Humor | Kids Sayings
- 4 Comments
My brother asked The Big One if he eats boogers. The Big One proclaimed that he does not eat boogers, but The Middle One does. The Middle One said, in an offended tone, “I do not eat boogers . . . anymore.” We all laughed until we learned that he eats scabs. Then we were all grossed out. Eeew!
I think booger eating must run in the family because I recall having a similar conversation with the Little One a few years ago. Check it out . . . https://mynephews.wordpress.com/2010/02/13/the-lost-booger/.
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Shaving Mishap
Posted on: May 28, 2012
- In: Children | Family | Humor | Kids Sayings
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The middle one came out of the bathroom yesterday with part of his left eyebrow missing. There was a small chunk of hair missing from the middle of the eyebrow. We all just stared at him and let it go. Later in the day, we’re all sitting at the table eating cake when my curiosity got the best of me, so I asked him what happened. I asked him why he shaved his eyebrow off. He said, “I didn’t shave it off. I scratched it off.” I let that one go.
Then, I asked him if he was trying to be like his father by shaving his face, because he’d missed. That’s when he got indignant and said, “I wasn’t trying to be like my daddy by shaving my face because I shave with my toothbrush.” That’s about the time we all lost it.
My Nephews Crack Me Up 